


A Painful Lesson

by The_Engineer



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gwen Bashing, Jealousy, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 02:54:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4331079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Engineer/pseuds/The_Engineer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A rift retrieval gone wrong.  The team finds a small cube once used on hostile aliens that allowed the unspoken, pent up thoughts to be voiced in a violent and painful manner. Gwen accidental sets off the cube, causing the team pain and to voice their innermost thoughts. Can the team get past the betrayal? Will Jack finally lose Ianto?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Non cannon compliant. All mistakes are mine/not beta and Torchwood/characters owned by BBC etc…

“GWEN DON”T” Jack yells as he grabs the cube from her hands while pushing her away.

A violent vortex rages through the hub causing Owen, Gwen and Tosh to fall to their knees in pain. Wind is whipping the girls’ hair about their face like tiny shard of glass. They are caught in a storm of negative emotions both physically and mentally. Gwen is trying to crawl away towards the cog door. Tosh is paralyzed by her station. Owen is screaming in pain about the unfairness of Katie being taken away from him. How he hates happy couples and that everyone should suffer because he is always in pain. He screams his disappointment in Jack’s failure to save his Katie. He screams at Tosh for not being enough to attract/distract him from his pain. He screams at Ianto for being a whipping boy, too stupid to see no one likes him and that they talk about him behind his back, he is a pathetic nobody and won’t be missed when he dies. He shouted that Gwen was a lousy lay and he only fucked her because he knew she was a slut, look how she longed after Jack, no better than Ianto.

Gwen is crying out that she loves Jack and can’t understand why they are not together. She cried out she finds Tosh boring and no wonder she is alone, men like sexy not brainy. She yells at Owen saying he took advantage of her during the affair. She is positively livid at Ianto for being nothing but a hole for Jack to fuck and if he had any balls he would off himself so her and Jack could be together. That Jack only fucked him because he couldn’t have her. That he was too stupid to save Lisa and if he did she would have left him anyway. Who would love the ugly stupid Welshman? On and on it went, deeper and deeper cutting to the core. Ugly, stupid, pathetic, useless, just a fuck, unloved, unwanted……no one trusted him, no one wanted to be friends with him.

Jack is screaming out how much he loves Gwen and is frustrated he cannot have her. He hates being trapped on Earth and is desperate to leave. He hates his team, his immortality and Ianto. Ianto who is too stupid to see he is being used and that Jack will never love him like he loves Gwen or the Doctor or John Hart. That he uses Ianto as a distraction and a warm body because he is willing. He can’t wait for Ianto to die so he can move on and is just with Ianto because he is easy and accessible, he doesn’t want the Welshman anymore, he is bored and hates monogamy. He is going to go on a fucking spree and screw anyone he wants to and Ianto can go fuck himself.

Ianto walks through the vortex looking at his teammates calmly. He hears the insults shouted at him, like he is a target, pure and pristine that needs to be blown apart. Ianto walks over to Jack who is frozen with the device in his hands. The others watch spewing their vitriol faster, cutting sharper than a scalpel and surprised Ianto is not shredded to ribbons and bleeding. They watch spellbound as Ianto takes Jack in his arms, removing the cube from Jack’s hands and lets it fall to the ground, the vortex that was all around them disappears as the two men embrace. Jack slumps to the ground out of Ianto arms, panting, shaking and crying.

Ianto pauses briefly to look at Jack then goes over to Tosh where he gently picks up the shaken women in much the same state as Jack and takes her over to the couch. Owen was next as Ianto helped the medic to his feet and the two swayed across the hub on unsteady legs, Gwen had changed direction and was crawling towards Jack, who was beginning to stand with the help of a desk. Jack looks and sees Ianto deposit Owen on the couch and then turned towards the remaining two colleagues. Seeing Jack standing Ianto goes over to Gwen and helps her up with more gentleness than she deserved. He does not carry her like Tosh but helps her to the couch. Next he goes back for Jack who leans gratefully on him, his head is pounding from the cube’s assault and somewhere in the pain awareness of what happened is coming into focus. But before Jack is completely aware, he too is placed on the now cramped sofa.

Mugs of hot sweet tea laced with whiskey were shoved into hands and drank gratefully. With the vortex gone and the cube off the reality of what happened, what was said was descending upon the team. Eyes looked downwards or forwards as they watched Ianto take the cube and place it in a containment box. Quickly adding a description and logged it into the dangerous section of the archives. He then placed the box in Jack’s office and refilled the tea.

Quietly, without looking at the team, “I’ve called a taxi to take you all home. The rift is quiet and I have sent all alerts to my phone. Do any of you need assistance?”

No one answered but gingerly they rise from the sofa and collect their belongings. Despite everything that was said they remained together, safety in numbers. Ianto watched from the CCTV as they got into the taxi. He made sure each member was in their flat before shutting down his computer.

Jack watched it all from the sofa quietly. Afraid to saying anything, wondering what Ianto would have said had the cube affected him. Wanting and not wanting to know.

Ianto was gathering up his coat and wallet when Jack found his voice. “Stay, please. We need to talk.”

Jack is worried about the after affects and maybe neither should be alone tonight.

Ianto replies that he is fine and keeps his distance, and refuses Jacks overturns of touch or to even look at Jack. He makes his way out of the hub with Jack’s eyes upon him.


	2. Chapter 2

Jack stumbles to his office and wishes for death, he needed a ‘reset’ his head ached and felt like a vice was turning ever so slowly crushing his brains out his ears. Gritting his teeth, Jack grabbed his Webley from his hip and quickly pulled the trigger, a shot rang out as he slumps forward on his desk, his last thought he will need to clean up the mess so Ianto doesn’t see.

A few minutes later Jack gasps back to life, revived and renewed. The vice grip on his brain is gone and while still a bit shaken from the event is able to think clearer. More than anything Jack wanted to run to Ianto’s to tell him he loved him, he didn’t mean any of it. But unless he had answers, some sort of proof, Ianto would shut the door in his face and he would be back to getting coffee on the plass for quite possibly the rest of his life.

So Jack booted up his computer and searched. The cube had looked familiar, not something from the archives….so Jack used his VM. They all (well probably not Ianto) thought Jack just ‘knew’ all the technology that came thought the rift. Truth was he could use his VM to identify much of the technology if it was intact.

The cube ended up be terrifying easy to identify because it had been banned by the Shadow Proclamation with severe penalties for anyone who used it. The cube was dropped behind enemy lines or on a planet you wished to conquer. The cube created an emotionally negative vortex, any negative thoughts or emotions you had past or present were amplified to others around you causing physical pain. The emotions and pain became so overwhelming that a death seemed the only answer. Entire alien species and planets were wiped out until the Shadow Proclamation ruled them not just illegal but if one had it in their possession with intent to sell, punishment was swift and painful. All methods and the scientist who created them were terminated, their knowledge lost in death.

Jack sat back, they were lucky Ianto was able to defuse the situation before it became violent. But would it matter to Ianto, to any of them. The cube amplified negative emotions, past and present. Jack worried that his team would be irreparable damaged, regardless how fleeting the thought was or when it was thought. Making his decision, Jack called them into work tomorrow for an 8am meeting. He didn’t want them to linger or dissect what was said to closely before Jack could start damage control.

The following morning at 7:56am…..

The cog door rolled back to reveal Ianto and Tosh entering the hub, both quiet and subdued, not their usual chatty selves. Ianto went to make coffee while Tosh went to her desk to check last night’s programs. No sooner had they arrived when the cog door rolled back revealing Owen who retreated to his med bay and could be heard rattling around.

Jack beat out a tattoo with his finger on the railing. It was 8:15 and Gwen still had not shown up.

“Ianto, Tosh, Owen. Conference room.” Jack spun on his heal and was there before all the others. Ianto brought Jack coffee but sat it by his chair rather than a pass off. Jack looked at Ianto carefully, he was paler than usual, his face blank, not in the butlers blank, but a frightening blankness an animal gets when backed into a corner with no way out and no fight left in it.

Just as Jack opened his mouth to begin the alarms blared and the cog door rolled open to Gwen. Gwen entered and went to her desk removing her jacket, when Jack snapped, “Gwen! Conference room.” Startled Gwen looked up at Jack then walking calmly went to the conference room, where strangely enough Ianto was waiting outside the door. Gwen walked passed him and nonchalantly said, “coffee Ianto,” and sat down on Jack’s right.

“Later,” Jack snapped in anger at her treatment of Ianto and that she boldly sat in Ianto’s chair, “you should have been here on time.” Jack sat down. Owen and Tosh were looking at the reports Jack had passed around while Gwen waited to hear what Jack said and wondering why Ianto was still standing by the door as if waiting for someone.

Jack took a deep breath and explained what he found out about the cube last night. He detailed very accurately the repercussions. “You can’t take what was said, any of it as truth of how you feel _now_. That device tapes into your subconscious, voices every unspoken unfiltered thought. It is meant to cause as much mental damage as possible. It twists words and thoughts to cause the most harm.” Jack was trying to remain calm, not wanting to hurt Ianto anymore than he had already been. He would have preferred Ianto to be in the conference room so he could look at him, but knew the Welshman was hurting so he did not press it.

“We have two options, we can either forget about what was said, against our wills, or retcon. We need to get past this and work as a team. We need to trust each other again. Owen? Tosh? Jack looked at them.

Tosh finished reading the report and looked at Jack. “I….I think I can get past it. I don’t want retcon.”

Jack looked at Owen. “I’m with Tosh, let’s put this behind us.”

“Gwen?” Jack knew that Gwen was not going to let it go. She had heard what she had wanted to hear for months, not realizing that words forced were not truly spoken with consent.

Gwen held her head up high, “I agree with Tosh and Owen, I don’t want retcon. But I think we should talk about what happened. We….there were a lot of things said…”

“No! If you had been listening Gwen, the cube forced us to voice negative emotions. I won’t have anyone on the team subjected to them again. There is nothing to discuss. It is either we put it behind us and focus on working as a team, or retcon.”

“Well I won’t take retcon!” snapped Gwen, frustrated she wasn’t given a chance to voice her opinion. “I just think…”

“We don’t care what you think Cooper. Just drop it. We all know you just want to talk about it because you heard Jack profess he loves you. But if he _really_ loved you then he wouldn’t need a cube to wrench it from him!” Owen shouted out frustrated. The last thing he wanted was to rehash everything that was said. He didn’t want to talk about Katie. And he felt guilty every time he saw Tosh and Ianto. Ianto wasn’t a bad bloke and truth be told he rather liked him. You could go so far to say Ianto was his best friend (not that Owen would admit it). But they went to the pubs together, and when not on the pull, hung out at each other’s flat, playing video games or watching movies (when Ianto wasn’t with Jack, and even some times when he was). No both Tosh and Ianto have suffered enough humiliation and hurt. Owen wanted it over.

“Ianto?” Jack asked quietly while Gwen fumed.

“move on.” Came the terse reply from the doorway.

“Agreed? We work past this, move on, forget what was said. Tosh, I want you to isolate the CCTV coverage and destroy it permanently. I don’t want anyone to have a copy or be able to access it. Dismissed, everyone.” Jack was glad no one questioned why Ianto was not affected by the cube. He knew or was pretty sure he knew why. Owen probably had figured it out, and Tosh…well Tosh was brilliant. If Gwen found out, there would be another screaming match and right now Jack had another headache pounding behind his skull. Jack also thought Ianto couldn’t take anymore onslaught of negative emotions and live thorough it wholly., that he would be damaged beyond repair and he wanted to protect his Welshman as much a possible.

Jack saw Ianto was already moving towards the archives and trying to cover up the fact he had a bloody nose, when Owen shouted out, “Ianto! Bay! Now!”

Ianto froze and turned to look at Owen with loathing. “I’m fine.” Came the reply through gritted teeth.

But Owen just shrugged as he walked past, “don’t care, now get your arse down there.”

Ianto followed Owen to the med bay glaring all the way. Tosh went back to her desk and started working. Gwen had followed Jack.

Jack watched as Ianto took off his jacket and was rolling up his sleeve.

“Jack we need to talk.” Gwen began.

“ About?” Jack asked without taking his eyes off Ianto. Jack desperately wanted to go down there. To hold and comfort Ianto, not only for Ianto but for himself too.

“About what was said...what you said..” Gwen replied, determined to be heard, to have her say.

“No Gwen, we don’t. I already explained, if you are unclear then read the report. Go back to your desk and get to work.” Jack’s voice brokered no argument.

Gwen glared at Jack then huffed and stomped back to her desk, _they would talk, if not right now then later. She deserved to have her say and Jack was going to listen._

The onslaught of emotions and negativity has left Ianto pale and shaking. Ianto had rescued all of them, but not before he was viciously attacked by everyone. Jack couldn’t image how Ianto felt right now. He wanted to hold Ianto tell him that it was all lies he does care and deeply. That those thoughts dragged from him were misleading and wrong.

Owen scanned Ianto twice, then took a blood sample. Ianto jerked every time Owen touched him. Owen was just about to chew him out when he saw bruising on Ianto’s wrist from where he had taken his pulse. Afterwards Owen tried to touch Ianto as little as possible.

Once freed from the bay Ianto fled to the archives.

Jack sat drumming his fingers on his desk and watching Ianto on the CCTV. He could see Ianto in distress as he flattened himself against a wall and cried, rocking ever so slightly, gripping his hair. Jack was just about to go him when a knock on his door distracted him.

Owen walked in, turned, closed and locked the door. Jack felt the ice cold spray of fear hit him.


	3. Chapter 3

“How bad?” Jack asked.

Owen shrugged, “not sure yet? But bad. Here is his normal brain scan. See right here” Owen pointed to a small purple section of the scan. “that’s the anterior insular cortex…. where his empathic abilities are heightened. This is the scan from a few minutes ago.” Jack looks and sees the thumbnail size purple blob has turned into a fist sized red blotch.” Jack looks at Owen in alarm. “what does it mean?”

“Best guess, Ianto sucked all that negative energy like a sponge and has no way to get rid of it. The human brain isn’t made for this. I don’t think high level empaths are either. His body is reactive as well. I just tried to take his pulse and it bruised where I touched him, also he is getting bloody noses all over the place. He needs rest as his levels and blood cell counts are way off, like he fighting an infection and he dehydrated and suffering from exhaustion.”

“What can you do for him?” Jack is wishing fervently his VM worked and he would take Ianto to Sigma Archer in the 34th century where they understood empaths and could help him.

Owen sat quietly thinking, “not much….right now. I don’t want to give him intravenous fluids just yet, his body isn’t reacting well. Send him home for a few days possible a week or longer, or somewhere quiet and away from people. I will check on him daily. The point is Jack he needs to be away from here, from us.”

Jack nodded, he knew Owen was right and hated him for it. Jack felt he could help Ianto but right now he wasn’t sure if Ianto would let him. “Give me a few minutes to make some arrangements, then I will send him home.”

Owen nodded then left. Gwen had seen Owen go into Jack’s office and was waiting for the medic to leave. She _had_ to talk to Jack. He would listen to her, she would make him listen to her. Gwen had just stood up from her desk when Jack came out of his office and headed for the archives. Gwen opened her mouth to stop him but saw the look on his face and knew it would have been pointless, it was, ‘I’m on a mission, nothing will deter me.’ Gwen sat back down her eyes following Jack’s progress. _Stupid tea boy, Jack, why are you wasting time on him when you made it apparent to everyone that you are just using him because you can’t have me. And yet, here I am trying to tell you, you can have me if you would just listen!_ Gwen sighed out loud and turned back to her game of solitaire.

Jack paused before going into the main archives when Ianto was and mentally adjusted his mental shields to further prevent any pain to Ianto.

“Just get it fucking over with already!” Yelled Ianto. Jack cautiously approached the archives and turning the corner his heart broke a little more. Ianto was still pressed against the wall, his pale face one of misery and pain, dried tears left steaks on his cheeks.

“Oh Ianto.” Jack said quietly. “ I didn’t mean it, what happened with the cube…” Jack stopped seeing the look of disbelief on Ianto’s face and started again. “Owen says you need peace and quiet. I’ve booked you the master suite at St. Davids for the week, a taxi will be here is a few minutes. Do you need help?” Jack was afraid to approach any closer seeing the obvious distress Ianto was under.

“Knowing is one thing, hearing it out loud is another.” Ianto replies quietly as he stands up on shaky legs and wipes his face on his sleeve. Jack backs up giving Ianto room to move. “It doesn’t mean it isn’t any less hurtful.” Ianto turns to leave. He knew, he had known for a long time no one was very good at hiding their emotions, but having them all directed to him at once by people he considers friends. Ianto felt raw, granted the cube did not affect him but moving thought the negative vortex, hearing Jack say he loved and wanted Gwen and was just using Ianto because he couldn’t have her….that he didn’t care for the Welshman at all, he was just using him and wished him dead so he could move on. Ianto wanted to be as far away from Jack as possible.

Ianto left though the cog door under the concerned eyes of Tosh and Owen, and malicious eyes of Gwen. Once in the taxi Ianto gave the address to his flat saying he needed a few things before going to the hotel. Once at his flat Ianto grabbed his overnight bag with comfortable clothes changed his mind as they were a reminder of Jack. Repacked clothes he wore when he was alone, and a small wooden box the saying Twinings Tea in gold lettering. Ianto arrived at the hotel, checked in, slightly impressed at the master suite, and thankful it wasn’t the one him and Jack had stayed at numerous times in the past. He closed and locked the door, then went and drew a bath. He had broken down in tears while at his flat, his emotions out of his control and running rampant. Ianto was glad of the anonymity of the hotel, he needed the time and didn’t want anyone coming over to try and assuage their guilt and offer paltry explanations and platitudes. Being at his flat would only serve as a reminder of the lie he has been living and believing about Jack.

After Ianto left Jack called another meeting in the conference room.

“Before you ask, Ianto is going to take a few days off, possibly a week to recover.”

Gwen, shocked and dismayed Ianto would get to take such a long time to ‘recover,’ “recover from what Jack, he wasn’t hurt physically. Why is it when I wanted to take a week and go to London…”

Gwen stopped when she saw the others looking at her, Jack’s stare piercing her the most.

“Ianto suffered a mental onslaught, from all of us. It’s just as physical as a beating and just as damaging. You.” Jack makes eye contact with his team. “Are not to contact him or try and see him. Do not offer apologies or excuses when he returns.”

“So what are we going to do Jack? We can’t let him suffer, and we can’t take back what was said.” Tosh’s black eyes sought him out in concern.

“I have an idea.” Was all Jack would say before dismissing them for the night. After Jack sent Ianto to the hotel, Jack had searched using his VM all uses of the cube. There was a lot of information and history of the cube but very little in the way of reversing the effects. There was a small notation made at a much later date of something Jack did recognize. The only problem was did they have one intact in the archives, and if not, could he procure one.


	4. Chapter 4

Jack was pacing in the hub trying to find a way to countermand all the damage that was done earlier. His foremost thought on Ianto. He hated that he hurt Ianto and that this was something not easily fixed, forgotten or forgiven. Jack wanted to explain that it wasn’t true, none of it was true. The cube tapped into emotions and turned them negative.

The alarm blared jerking Jack from his musings. Jack’s hopes were dashed when he saw Gwen walking though the door. Of course it would be Gwen. She continued to refuse to understand how the cube manipulated all of them. All she knew was that Jack loved her and she wanted him.

“Jack we should talk.” Gwen started.

“No Gwen go home, go home to Rhys. We will have a staff meeting tomorrow morning.”

“I don’t; understand you said you loved me, **You Wanted ME!** We love each other, we can be together. Ianto will understand, so what is stopping you?” Gwen was crying now, big crocodile tears. She had wanted Jack from the moment they met, there was no more hiding, no more pretending. They could be open with each other.

“Gwen,” Jack pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. “I don’t love you in a romantic sense. The cube uses people’s emotions to turn them against each other. Go home to Rhys who loves you. Who is patient and forgiving. We are lucky to have such men in our lives.”

Gwen was sniffing. “I don’t believe….” She began.

“Enough!” Jack responded angrily. “Just because you refuse to believe doesn’t make it unbelievable. If you want to stay here fine, then stay.” Jack strode towards the lift and pressing few buttons on his VM was rising above Gwen.

Looking up at him Gwen asks, “where are you going?”

Jack looks at her shaking his head, “to be with Ianto. I told you Gwen. We were lucky to have such patient and forgiving men in our lives. I won’t let Ianto go, not for you not for anyone.”

“And if he doesn’t want you!” Gwen shrieked, furious at being denied. “Then what? I won’t wait around forever Jack. You need to make your choice, it is either ME or Ianto.”

“There was never a choice Gwen, it was _always_ Ianto.” Jack says almost to the top and can hear Gwen screaming obscenities at him. He makes a mental note to have Owen scan everyone tomorrow. Gwen is tenacious but even for her, is acting out of character.

The cool night air hits Jack and he starts to run towards the hotel. It isn’t far, and the run is giving him much needed time to think. He needed a calm and clear head when he talks to Ianto.

Jack arrives and walks a few blocks to calm his heart rate. He walks quickly in the hotel and bypasses reception. He uses his VM to override the lift and take him to the master suite.

Jack pauses and adjusts his mental shields and tentatively reaches out for Ianto. He didn’t have to reach far as Ianto’s mind was still emitting the negative emotions of the vortex. Jack quickly phoned Owen and orders the medic to come to the hotel. It had been over 48 hours since the incident; there should have been some progress.

Jack walks into the master suite and is shocked. It looked like a hurricane had blown through, curtains were ripped hanging off of curtain rods, furniture was broken or turned over. Jack walked over broken glass crunching under his boot into the bedroom. The bedroom was the same as the living room, scattered around the room were torn photos. Jack picked them up and silently cursed. He was looking at Lisa. Lisa before she was a cyber-woman, beautiful Lisa with straight waist long hair, a cheeky smile and long sexy legs and full kissable lips. The other photos were of Ianto’s niece and nephew David and Mica. Jack had never met them but knew Ianto was very fond of both of them. There was an older photo black and white of a women with dark hair, mother? Aunt? Jack wasn’t sure but certainly a relation. There were little mementos Jack recognized from the flat, a small replicate of the house he lived in while staying in Amsterdam. A jade necklace from Hokitika, New Zealand his best friend Aidan bought him during their gap year. A small wood carving from a local Vancouver, BC artist Ianto met during a festival while on Vancouver Island. Jack looked around his heart sinking. There were no photos of him, or Tosh or Owen. So far, all things Jack found were to invoke good times and happy memories. Obviously Jack was no longer part of that special place in Ianto’s heart.

Jack moved further into the suite looking for Ianto. He was not in the kitchen, lounge or the other bedroom. Jack was becoming concerned when he heard the lift and heard Owen call out. Then Jack heard it, the water was running.

“In here!” Jack yelled as he moved towards the only room he had not checked, the bathroom.

Jack opened the door with Owen right behind him to find a sobbing and rocking Ianto in a cold shower still fully clothed, babbling incoherently. Jack cautiously moved closer and could make out Ianto repeating over and over again, “nothing good, nothing good.”

Jack turned off the shower, Ianto looked even worse, if possible, than two days ago. There were dark circles under his eyes, and even more pale then before, if that was possible. And despite it only being two days, looked even thinner.

Owen crouched down and ran a scanner on Ianto. Jack looked at Owen who just shook his head and showed the scan to Jack. No change. Ianto was still fighting the negative emotions and the emotions were winning.

Jack reached in the shower and gently pulled Ianto out by his wrists. Jack gently reached out to try and encompass Ianto in his mental shields, and it worked.

They heard Ianto gasp and pull away from Jack shaking his head.

Owen nudged Jack back, “come on mate.” Ianto slide past Owen without touching him, his breathing erratic, his body shaking from the cold. Out in the hallway, Owen cautiously approached Ianto and talking in his ‘best beside patient’ mode, calmly told Ianto he needed to undress and get the wet clothes off and into dry ones. Ianto nodded and with shaking hands tried to unbutton his pants and failing that went to unbutton his shirt. More successful with his shirt Ianto let it fall wetly to the floor. Both Owen and Jack swore when they saw the bruising on Ianto’s arms. Ianto physically shied away as if he had been struck. Too late they realized that Ianto was very much in tune to emotions. Jack tried to reestablish a shield but Ianto was powerful and was refusing Jack’s help and fighting him. Jack pulled back and sent out concerned thoughts instead, knowing Ianto would reject any other type.

After several torturous minutes of watching Ianto undress, revealing more and more bruising they finally got him dry and into a robe. Then they herded Ianto out of the master suite down the hall to the other master suite. Jack had booked all the master suites and the two floors below all so Ianto could have privacy.

Ianto seemed calmed and was able to answer Owen’s questions. No he was not eating. Yes he was sleeping, intermittently. No his ‘training’ from ONE was not working very well, _yet_ , but Ianto was soldiering on. He couldn’t focus long enough to in invoke the feeling needed to counter act the negative emotional ones he was exposed to, but he would be trying ‘other methods’ soon. He felt confident that he would be able to return to work in a few more days. No Jack’s help was not needed or necessary, unwanted was left unsaid. Jack asked a few questions of his own which Ianto answered tersely. Jack and Owen only agreed to leave if Ianto would eat. So Jack ordered from room service and they ate silently.

Owen left with orders Ianto was to call him the following day for an update. Jack left abet reluctantly. He wanted to talk but both Owen and Ianto said it was too soon, perhaps in a few days.


	5. Chapter 5

Once outside Owen and Jack made for a pub to discuss Ianto’s condition and other treatments if Ianto’s training failed, which it looked likely to do. Jack mentioned an alternative ‘method,’ they could try. Owen thought about it and spoke plainly if Jack was ‘daft enough to try it then he would have to suffer the consequences of failure. Ianto did not seem reception to Jack or his help. They sat there for a better part of an hour, mostly silent. Jack asked Owen to scan Gwen tomorrow that she was acting, unusual.

Owen snorted, “you mean she won’t let go the fact you said you loved and wanted her.”

Jack rolled his eyes, “something like that. Look, maybe, once a long time ago I felt that way. But I never, and I mean NEVER wished Ianto dead. He wasn’t a distraction or just another warm body, I love him…I can’t lose him.”

Owen rolls his eyes at Jack’s confession, “Jack, stop you wanker. I don’t want to hear your sorry arse go on about tea boy. I KNOW, okay. It has been bloody obvious since the cyber women incident.”

Jack lapsed into silence he wanted no needed to justify what was spoken. Just maybe Jack wanted Gwen, in the beginning but it was fantasy, just lustful thoughts, he had them about everyone, including Owen.

But Ianto was special, Jack had been around had many lovers both human and alien, but so far Jack had never had an experience with another like he had with Ianto. Sure he has had sex with telepathic aliens, but it was nothing compared to Ianto. It wasn’t just sex with Ianto (which was out of this world) but the shared intimacy. When they were alone, they would relax their mental shields and have the most amazing sex, not just physically but mentally as emotions raced a crossed their bond. Ianto was very capable of giving Jack a ‘mental’ mind blowing organism, without ever touching him, and Jack of course would return the gesture in kind. Adding the mental with the physical would leave both men to exhausted for more physical sex, but happy and reeling over their connection for days. It didn’t stop the lustful looks thrown across the hub between the two men, or a quick cuddle in the archives.

It wasn’t just the sex, not for Jack anyway. They fought and forged out of their pain a bond not just of friendship, deeper than lovers, their souls intertwined. Jack told Ianto things he has never told another living soul, and Ianto trusted him with the same. Ianto was part of him, Jack could not honestly imagine himself without Ianto. To see him every day and not be able to touch him, to talk or slow dance when everyone went home. To feel the soothing thoughts Ianto sent his way when Jack was feeling particularly angry and frustrated.

And now an incongruous little cube just might have done irreparable damaged to his relationship. Damn Gwen Cooper for turning the bloody things on! Then Jack started thinking… Gwen.

Every time something catastrophic happened Gwen was behind it. He saw her records when she was a constable and just assumed her insubordination was the result of her tenacious attitude to ferret out the truth. Now he was seeing it in a whole different light. The problem was how to deal with her…but first priority was Ianto. He would deal with Gwen later.


	6. Chapter 6

A few days later Ianto returned to the hub. He still looked worse for wear but wanted to be in his archives and with Myfanwy, where he found solace. He moved quietly about the hub much like after the cyber-women incident. Jack told them to treat Ianto the same as before. So Owen called him tea boy and Tosh smiled anytime he brought her tea. Ianto still kept away from Jack, preferring to leave his coffee in the conference room where Jack would retrieve it, with a quiet thank you as he passed Ianto.

While Ianto was gone Jack had frantically searched the archives and found what he was looking for. It was take a few days then hopefully he could help Ianto.

Gwen of course, was not as considerate as he colleagues and following Jack’s orders to the letter, treated Ianto the same. She was in a particularly foul mood that morning as once again she tried to talk Jack into being with her. Jack told Gwen is she pushed once more he would retcon her. That started a yelling match between the two which in turned caused Ianto to faint. Luckily he was in the archives so no one saw. Mid-day Ianto wade his way to the hub, he needed coffee and maybe even lunch. Presently Tosh was helping him by ordering the food and getting take away coffee. It was rather quiet as everyone was working on the bits of technology that came through the rift. Their minds occupied, Ianto felt safe to go topside as it were.

He should have known however, the moment Gwen saw him, her animosity at the ‘obstacle to Jack’s heart,’ increased. “Ianto about time, coffee.” She snapped.

Ianto walked into the kitchen when suddenly jolting everyone from their work was a loud bang, followed by a crunch. They raced to the kitchen Jack, afraid Ianto had been hurt, sees the Welshman standing in the tiny kitchen and the espresso machine on the floor, in bits.

Ianto looks at everyone, “seems the espresso machine is…broken.”

Jack had been waiting for this, the anger to take hold. He wasn’t sure if it was good or bad. Perhaps he would hear what Ianto thought of all of them, or him. Maybe this was the only way for Ianto to expunge the negative emotions he experienced. Jack looked at Owen who was covertly scanning Ianto and shook his head at Jack.

“Okay, everyone, back to work. It’s just a broken expresso machine. Ianto, I have a few things for the archives….”

They all retreat to their desks, Tosh and Owen watching Ianto cautiously. Gwen glared, why did Jack always protect the tea boy. She was so frustrated that Jack convinced himself he loved Ianto when they all clearly heard that Jack loved her. As Jack was refusing to talk to her she would talk to Ianto. Make him see reason.

Ianto followed Jack to his office a few paces behind. Jack could feel Ianto’s emotions in turmoil, anger and fear wared within Ianto, not the usual emotions of his gentle Welshman. Jack very carefully guarded his own, if Ianto sensed a trap, then it would be over before it began.

“There are files that need to back to the archives along with some rift debris I already identified. I wrote the descriptions but you will need to catalog it.” Jack told all of this without looking at Ianto. It was how the last week had been. No eye contact, no physical contact, less speaking as possible. These were Ianto’s request and Jack abided by them. Ianto was off field duty until Owen released him and thankfully the rift and weevils were quiet. Almost as if the cube had affected everyone in Cardiff. Gwen had noted that crime was down, and Owen said the hospital reported fewer domestic incidents.

Ianto reached for the small gold stone sitting on top of the folders and whimpered. Jack moved fast and caught Ianto before he fell to the ground. He gently moved Ianto to the sofa in his office and sat the Welshman on his laps and stoked his forehead and kisses him. All the while Ianto cried and clutched the stone. The others had heard Ianto’s cry and went to Jack office. Owen watched as Ianto cradled something to his chest, but more importantly was crying and allowing Jack to hold him. Tosh caught Jack eye and smiled. She knew Jack would think of something. Already the chalk white pallor was receding on Ianto, his normal gossamer paleness returning.

Gwen was not impressed, she wondered if tea boy was faking it all along and was going to talk to Jack about it. _Faker,_ she thinks. _He is only dong this to get attention._ Gwen turns and goes back to her desk. She wasn’t going to watch this farce any longer.

Just then the rift alarm shrilled out a warning of weevils. Ianto tensed up, but Tosh quickly went to jack’s computer to silence the alarm. Two weevils, she mouthed. Jack looked at Owen who nodded and soon both Tosh and Owen left the office closing the door. Ianto settled down once more this time turning into Jack for a cuddle. Jack hugged the Welshman tightly.

“Gwen with me, two weevils!” Owen shouted as he left Jack’s office.

“Owen! You don’t give me orders.” Gwen glared.

“I do when Jack is indisposed. Now move your arse.!” Owen was yelling while grabbing his weevil kit.

Two hours later they return to the hub. Tosh is quietly working at her computer when they return.

“Owen, Jack would like you to scan Ianto, and Gwen, you can go home.” Tosh spoke in a whisper as if she was afraid to wake a sleeping child.

“what? No I need to talk to Jack, this is ridiculous.” Gwen moved towards Jack’s office when the small Japanese women blocked her way.

“Tosh what are you doing? Get out of my way….please.” Gwen brows furrows as she tried to move past but was still blocked.

“No Gwen. My orders are, “when they return, send Owen to my office to scan Ianto and send Gwen home. Under no circumstances is she to enter my office.”

“Go home Gwen. Knowing Jack his office is locked, so don’t bother.” Owen was almost to the door and knocking quietly.

Gwen huffed and glared at them waiting to see if the door to Jack’s office opened. Owen crossed his arms across his chest and leaned casually across the door.

Gwen turned and grabbing her things from the desk left via the cog door. She would come back later and talk to Jack. She missed the sounds of the cog wheel door’s clicks as it locked down.

“She’s gone,” Owen quietly spoke to the door. He heard a click and opened the door.

Jack and Ianto were sitting next to each other, quietly talking, their forehead touching and slowly rubbing together.

“a little to the left,” Ianto murmurs. Then lets out of sight of contentment when Jack moves and nuzzles Ianto, ‘a little to the left.’

Owen noticed Ianto was still holding onto the stone that had turned from gold to silver.

Without further ado he scans Ianto and sees the red fist sized blotch has returned to its normal thumb sized but is yellow in color. Jack briefly glances at Owen who cautiously approaches the couple and shows Jack the screen. Jack’s eyes flick to the screen then back to Owen with a perceptible nod. Owen quietly backs out of the office and shuts the door.

Making his way towards Tosh’s desk he asks Tosh about the rift.

“Quiet night. Jack asked if we could take the alarms.” Tosh shuts down her computer and was getting ready to leave.

“Fancy a dinner and drink Tosh.” Owen asks. He doesn’t ask because he feel obligated to make things right with her, but because, well because he _wants_ her company tonight.

Tosh pauses and looks at Owen the shrugs, “okay.”

Owen was hoping for more enthusiasm but would take what he could get, it was a start anyway.

Owen takes Tosh’s hand and they leave via the garage.


	7. Epilog

Ianto and Jack lay down on the tiny camp bed, naked, legs intertwined. Ianto still clutched the stone that had turned from silver to an iridescent white. Ianto letting out little sighs as Jack's memories washed over him. Memories of the first time Jack told Ianto he loved him spoken in an honest and open fashion without hesitation or awkwardness. The very first time they made love, it was in Ianto's flat, they stayed up until the early dawn exploring each other. Jack asking for a monogamous commitment from Ianto. Their first weekend away from Torchwood, where they stayed at the little B&B by the beach and slept until 11 each morning (tired from their night of love making). The first time Ianto told Jack he loved him, as he took Jack's hand in public. The first time Jack realized he loved Ianto. Their Boeshane wedding and bonding ceremony preformed by Jack on a secluded beach, just the two of them.  

“what is it?” He asks in wonderment. Ianto was in despair only hours earlier, desperate and becoming suicidal.

Jack closes his hand around Ianto’s which was holding the stone, his thumb rubbing on the back of Ianto’s hand. “it’s a memory keeper from the Ood. The Shadow Proclamation had destroyed everything about the cube, the only records were of how destructive it was. Then I found a tiny little notation about it being used on the Ood to no effect. I couldn’t take you to their planet to I searched for more records to try and see why it was infective. The Ood are telepathic and a hive mind society, but I also remember they had ‘memory keepers.’ Jack squeezed Ianto’s hand holding the stone. I was able to find a few in the archives. I placed all my good memories, memories of us, my home and family into it. I was going to ask Tosh and Owen but I was worried they would let their personal feeling overcloud their memories. So I focused and spent the last few days feeding the stone memories. Once it turned gold I knew it was ready. Then all I had to do was have you touch it. I have to admit I wasn’t sure if it would work, and I didn’t have a plan B.”

Ianto had gone very silent and still. Jack placed a gentle chaste kiss on his forehead. He knew what Ianto thinking, and dreaded this moment but also wanted to say all the things he has bottled up the last few days.

Jack strokes Ianto’s face, “I love you Jones, Ianto Harkness Jones. What you heard….”

But Ianto kissed Jack to stop him. “Please,” he whispered to his husband, “I can’t…” a tear slid down his cheek, the stones light fading back into silver.

“Ianto you need to hear this, I need to say it. I’ve never, ever wanted you dead. You are a part of me. I love you. I love our life together. What you heard was a twisted and malicious version of the truth. I admit I was attracted to Gwen initially, but it faded so fast I had forgotten about it and her. I don’t want to leave you, ever. I don’t want anyone else. I can’t imagine living without you and fear when you die I…” A tear slide down Jack’s cheek, “I won’t be able to let you go. I think I would rather throw myself into the abyss and be nothing than live without you”

Ianto was crying, tears flowed down his cheek faster than Jack could kiss them away. Jack gathered up all his good memories, his happiest memories and focused on them. Soon Ianto’s tears stopped. He tried to take the comfort Jack was providing and forget about the past few days, knowing the words spoken out loud by his husband and lover and his friends were not their true feelings. Thankful he was not affected by the cube, and hurling insults at his friends and husband. He sent a silent plea for Jack never to ask what he would have said if the cube affect him.

Exhausted both men fell asleep in each others arms. Ianto still held the memory stone which during the night returned to the iridescent white.

Tosh slept in the crook on Owen's arm while Owen twirled his finger in her hair. They had fallen asleep on the couch in her flat and Owen found himself quiet comfortable and settled back bringing Tosh closer to him.

No one heard or cared that Gwen had returned to the hub and was banging on the cog door demanding to be let in.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can decide Gwen’s fate (I'm not going to write another chapter). I left her hanging for a reason. She was either retconned and given back to Rhys who later dumps her for the hot teller at the bank. Or when the boys woke in the morning to find Gwen asleep at the cog door, put her in the cells, then turned her over to UNIT. Who in turned forced her into strict military life, where her ‘tenaciousness’ got her more time in the brig and never rose above corporal. She never saw Cardiff, Torchwood, or Jack again. She retired from UNIT at 65 a bitter hag, alone and living in a retirement home in a crappy town without a friend to her name. 
> 
> Ps. Hoped you liked the little surprised ending of Jack and Ianto being married.


End file.
